The Dark Side

Today, an army officer went berserk and killed several military personnel as they were being readied for deployment to Iraq and Afghanistan. He wasn't just an officer. He was a psychiatrist who treated other military personnel for PTSD. I am grappling with this event because last week a local counselor here in Bethel killed himself. The 2 events are linked by the fact that both were violent acts perpetrated by mental health professionals who practiced the art of soothing souls distraught by despair and trauma. One unleashed his violence upon himself. The other took out 13 people and wounded 30 or so other innocent people who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. My first thought upon hearing the news of the shooting at Fort Hood was that it might be the work of a terrorist..and that led me to ask myself, what is a terrorist. In the war against terror...who are we fighting?

Both these American men were "terrorists". Both these men were terrified. Were they Muslim? Were they suspicious? Would Border Patrol recognize them? The United States is at war and has been for nearly 9 years in the "War Against Terror". Iraq or Afghanistan...the country is irrelevant...and there is no difference between what occurred on 9/11 and what occurred on 11/5. On both dates...fear and desperation lashed out and attacked life as it went about it's daily business.

The American military unleashes it's fear and desperation day after day in Iraq and Afghanistan and the civilians who are simply trying to live their lives are paying the price...whether it is an American worker paying taxes spent on the war or an Afghan child seeking nourishment, their lives pay the cost of war. The extreme muslims seek retaliation by explosives strategically placed...in a shoe bomb, a suicide pilot or a training in suicidal glory. From what I can see...war is war. Both sides are terrorists. Both sides are irrational, intolerant and in a sense, ignorant. How many generations of learning does it take to understand the simple law ...for every action there is an equal reaction.

I sometimes imagine what might have happened if the USA did not react to the 9/11 attack on the twin towers. What might have happened if the money and effort went into caring for survivors? Instead of righteous indignation and assault, what might have happened if the USA invested it's resources in strengthening itself? By sending armies out to fight, the available resources are being spent on violence and the result is more violence. We kill our enemies but at the same time, we kill ourselves. As we wage this war against terror, we become terrorists and the people that are hurt the most are the people that idealistically believe they are doing something positive as they set out and realize they've lost themselves when they return and in losing themselves, they lose a sense of life having value. If we are at war against terrorists, we are terrorists because we are at war. Perhaps it is time to try a new approach. Honoring human differences might be a good start and in honoring differences perhaps we can begin to establish common ground.

I can't help but think about the people who poured out their souls to the psychiatrist that went berserk...or the folks who sought strength in the counsel of a mental health professional who then committed suicide. There is betrayal and evidence for yet deeper despair. How did these professionals not see things getting out of hand? Why did they not seek treatment themselves? In listening to and supporting the anguish of others did they absorb the very energies they sought to heal? Is this the time when sin eaters sin? While we "help" other countries become safe, will we watch ourselves breakdown? I don't know. I just wonder.